Morning Crockpotters!!

Day 4! Wow this is flying by! And it’s December 1st!!!! AHHH!!!  But it’s also day 4 of having a sick kiddo and I’m wearing thin LOL!! Tonight is the All–In-One Porkchop Bake, that’s one of my favorties, though I haven’t actually done it with the potatoes and veggies in their so I’m sad to be missing this one, but very happy to be meeting an old friend for some much needed momma time! It’s my hubby’s turn to make me a plate!! Don’t plan on no after pictures from him though LOL…..

LATER………

Well I went out for a Dr’s appt and came back and it smells amazing!! But here is the kicker….I think this momma may need a new crockpot for Christmas LOL hint hint Santa Clause!! I think my pork chops are already done and my potatoes are still hard!! AHHHH!!!! I put them on at 12:30 when I left….it’s been 3 hours! Well we’ll find out I’m going to put the Broccoli in at 4 and leave to meet my friend and my hubby can eat around 5-530 and he can tell me how it turned up!! STAY TUNED!

Ok So I had to change the menu around a little bit to fit to my schedule for the next few days, we have a busy weekend and I’m Christmas shopping with my mom on Monday night so I had to change some things around, My aunt also mentioned that one of the meals didn’t sound like something her and my uncle would like so I replaced it with a Keilbasa meal seeing as that’s always a go to quick meal for alot of friends! Check it out! Sweet & Sour Keilbasa!

I didn’t have time to do the Hashbrown Egg White Nests this morning because my kiddo is still sick but I hope to get to them over the weekend or next week at least, I’m dying to try them! Stay tuned for the reviews on tonights All-In-One Porkchop Bake.

So the holidays are coming, it’s a stressfull time of the year, some of you have new little ones, some of you have toddlers and little ones! I remember the way that I felt after I had my daughter, I was ashamed that I didn’t love every second of it. I waited all my life for that bundle of joy but I was surprised that I didn’t love it, I thought I would, I was shocked that I didn’t. So I joined some groups and these mommy’s were so supportive. I’d struggle to get the baby out the door but by the time we’d get there and get settled and start talking I came to realize that I wasn’t alone and that really made me feel better.  One of the groups I become a part of, I actually never attended any meetings however this group ran a special at my usual mommy group and I get the emails all the time so I thought I would share this one with you all, I remember feeling just this way, so when I read this email I really wanted to share it with someone!

Is it possible to love your baby and simply NOT love the logistics that go into having a newborn? Yes. Yes. And Yes.

This is, perhaps, the myth that is most voiced and de-bunked early on in my work with new moms.  Moms who are struggling with postpartum depression feel so much guilt for not being well.  They judge themselves up and down and around the block for dreading the night time feedings, for questioning whether or not they “should have done this,” for feeling claustrophobic when holding their babies all day, for not enjoying breast feeding, and for wanting – more than anything – a full night’s sleep.  Each mom who comes to see me for support postpartum is afraid, at least initially, that I will think she is not cut out for motherhood and that she is a “bad mom” for not loving the early weeks and months to pieces.

It is so easy for each of these moms to assume that they are the only ones who feel frustrated and (yes, I will say it) often devastated by the new responsibilities and life changes that come with being a parent.  And yet, truly, most moms do feel this way at some point.  In fact, a number of experts out there have described childbearing and becoming a mother as a psychic trauma, and an existential crisis.  I mean, this shock to the system is real for almost everyone and is especially severe for those women who are struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety.

No matter how much they love their little ones.

So, try this on for size: you can absolutely love your little nugget to pieces and also not love being a mom right now.  You don’t have to love changing diapers at 2am, muddling through the often unpleasant trials and errors of breast feeding, and bouncing your baby at all hours of the night.  You don’t have to feel appreciative every moment that your baby fusses, or cries, or screams for the umpteenth hour in a row.   You are allowed to wonder why the heck you did this.  You are more than welcome to wish you were on a peaceful tropical island far away from all of your responsibilities.  You are allowed, most certainly, to be afraid and to wonder, how on earth, such a little being has the power to control the lives of one or more competent and well-meaning adults.  You don’t have to know what to do, or how to soothe, or which baby rearing books to believe.  None of these things cancel out your love for your baby.  None of them.  Moms who are struggling postpartum love their children just as much as those who are not.

I know that I am preaching to the choir here.

But still, no matter how much the moms in my office know within themselves that they love their babies, they still wonder if others will doubt this.  It is a sort of either-or mix-up.  As if the rule stated that youeither love your baby and everything about being a mother, or you don’t love motherhood and therefore must not love your baby.  And how unfair and inaccurate this is!

So, my friends, this holiday season I am hopeful that you can be kind to yourselves and allow a bit of fairness back in to your perception of what you are going through.  You get to choose whether or not early motherhood resonates for you and, even if it does not, you can be thankful for that baby who rests (or cries) in your arms.  Love most certainly DOES exist in the time of postpartum depression.

– Kate Kripke, LCSW