Can we control our own stress? Can we make our lives better, healthier, stronger? Can we really make a positive change just by the way we think? It’s a reasonable question isn’t it? My husband reads all of those “Positive Thinking” books, I often just roll my eyes and watch as he goes through these books one by one. But for those of you who have never met my husband, he is by far the most positive person I have ever met in my life.

Sooooo it got me thinking…..If we think more positively and take into consideration the good things in our life instead of the bad, can it in the end, make us feel better? I for one have never really never been able to be all that “positive” at any point in my life. Ok maybe when I was younger, but I hated high school, I got my heart broken by every guy just like every other normal teenager out their. I lost someone I loved more than life itself when I was 1 mth shy of turning 21. I then watched my father die of cancer for 9 mths, and was 23 when he was taken from me. I closed everyone out, including my boyfriend whom I thought I was luckier than life itself to have found and buy a home with, which then ended in heartache and caused me to crawl back home to mommy……….would you be positive? Ha! Would you think life was so grand?? LOL.

I’ve said many times that those experiences made me who I am today. I wouldn’t change one day of my life no matter how hard or “negative” it may have been. I say negative because when bad things happen to good people we all need someone to blame correct? Like the loser chick that hit my boyfriend on his motorcycle, killing him, only to walk away scott free. You can’t really “Blame” Cancer for taking a life, however I can blame the Doctor who originally missed the diagnosis causing him to be in stage 4 when they finally did find it. We all need to feel that anger towards someone, or something, or anything. Well I often blamed God. Yep….not that I was ever that spiritual, but it was easy to blame someone for my “bad luck”. To have my twenties turned into a chaos of ups and downs, losses and heartaches.

Now I sit here, having all I’ve ever wanted in life, a husband that I thought would never come around, a husband that I thought were only made in the movies 🙂 Because that’s how great he is. A little girl that I always wanted. The ability to stay at home and raise her. A supporting and loving family, yes I’m close to every member of my family. I’m the freak that would rather spend time with her aunt and uncle or cousin then hang out with friends 🙂 But us mothers, we sit here and we still find something to be unhappy about. I don’t own a home, I’m in a 1000 sq ft condo, I’ve gained 25 lbs since having my daughter, I’m still paying off my wedding, all these things but if instead of even thinking of those things, you think positively like how I have a summer camp to go to that allows me to be with my family all summer. That I get to stay home and watch my beautiful daugther learn about the world, that my daughter is happy and healthy, that I’m healthy, can we really be happier by concentrating on those happy things?

If I think I’m a horrible mother, or if I think negative things, this doesn’t allow me to strive and leave an opportunity to learn and grow myself. Thinking negatively  never affected anyone in my life until now. My child……if we think negatively are we setting bad examples for our children? I don’t want my daughter to grow up and not be strong, independent and positive. I want her to have all the confidence in the world. I want her to believe in herself, in a way that I never did. I want her to believe she can accomplish anything and set goals that are reachable. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, from here on out, positive positive positive! However, I’ve said that many times.

My husband often says that he has to make himself be a positive thinker, that it’s actually work and he works at it everyday of his life…..well now then I just feel lazy because I don’t work on it, I’ll start and then 3 days later I find something to hate or some way to feel down in the dumps.

I’ve just discovered that it’s life, and it’s how we learn and grow as individuals. For me it’s more important for me to grow as a mother, but also to still be “Tammi”.

What do you think? Do you think positively and when you do are you happier?